Helping Shy Kids Cope

While many children whine about having to het back into the classroom, some children completely dread the experience and are too shy to see even one the fun, positive aspect of going back to school. If this sounds like your child, back-to-school can be especially unnerving time.

The season's change of environment, new authority figure, pressure to make new friends and new academic challenges can be daunting, so we have got some back-to-school tips to help quiter kids cope with these new school-year changes.

DITCH THE "SHY" LABLE

How many times have you or someone else said"Oh, Joey's just shy"? It seems like a harmless aside, but labeling a child as"shy" actually makes it even harder for him to feel like he can be anything else.

To reverse this mentality, comment to other adults within your child's earshot that he warms up and is quite friendly. The next time you see him playing with someone, remark to your spouse or friend later (again, when you child is around) that Joey is getting friendlier and friendlier!

HOST A BACK-TO-SCHOOL PARTY

To help your child feel comfortable with his new classmates, offer to host a back-to-school celebration in your backyard. (If this seems like a large task, remember that you can
hire a babysitter or two to help run the show) Before everyone leaves the party, give them a contact sheet with everyone's information on it to encourage more school-year playdates.

PRACTICE CONVERSATIONS

A lot of times, a shy child simply is not sure how to initiate a conversation. To build this skill, you can sit down with the child and brainstorm different ways he can engage others. Here are a few examples:

- Comment on what someone is doing. When Susie starts drawing, your child can say something like, "You must like art."

- Compliment someone. "I like those shoes."

- Offer to help. "Want me to help you pick up those papers?"

ENCOURAGE SMILING

If conversations seem too intimidating to your child, tell him that the easiest way to make friends at school is to smile! That way, he may encourage someone to come over to him without even saying a word. If your child is not comfortable smiling out of the blue, help him practice in a mirror and compliment his efforts with enthusiasm.

ENCOURAGE THE CHILD'S INTERESTS

He may not like going back to the classroom, so what does he enjoy? Encouraging your child to do things he likes or is good at helps give him more confidence. This is also a great opportunity to involve your after-school babysitter! Your child can show the sitter things he is done or made, or he can show you the things he makes with sitter while you are away.

ENLIST HELP FROM SIBLINGS

If you have got older kids at the same school, enlist their "big sibling skills" to help your younger one feel more comfortable. Big Sis can give a reassuring smile or wave in the hallways to remind you shy child that he is not alone.

TALK TO THE TEACHER

Communicating with your shy child's teacher is another key way to helping your child get through the school year. Teachers are often open to helping children share their interest with other students in the class, for example, which, again, is a great way to build confidence.

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